Friday, February 15, 2013

Human Hot Pocket

I have been slacking in the reading department. But my increased gym time is allowing me time to catch up a bit.

While reading the Survival Edition of Backpacker I came across one of my greatest fears; the possibility of becoming a human hot pocket. For years I have thanked the powers that be every time I wake up in the morning in my sleeping bag intact.

I am talking about a situation like this: you are sleeping in the deepest slumber, fresh air is filling your lungs, the stress of the workweek drifts out your tent vents in a gentle night breeze. All of the sudden you snap out of your dreamworld to a musky smell and some grunting. This is a situation that I call the human hot pocket because that is essentially what become to a hungry bear looking to fix his midnight case of the munchies.

According to Backpacker, in the event that this happens to you you should thrash around to alert your camping partners and start fighting back... good luck.

Make sure your smelly stuff is in proper storage containers, watch for scat and if you are really afraid, put some raw meat in your friend's tent just in case... unless it's my tent.

John

(This is not a bear, but it has the potential to be equally terrifying)

5 comments:

Sharkbytes said...

One of my all-time favorite Far Side cartoons: two bears standing in the trees at the edge of a clearing where there are two campers in sleeping bags. One of the bears says "Mmmmm, sandwiches."

John Yonkers said...

I am familiar with that comic classic. One of my favorites too!

Joshua said...

Have you invested in Bear Spray? After the March issue of Backpacker, I'm seriously considering it.

John Yonkers said...

I am very close to picking some up. I will for sure before I go out for the first time of the year. Any recommendations?

Joshua said...

Don't have any recommendations yet. I'm like you. I was goin gto pick some up before the first trip of the year.